Post by Goblinglow on Sept 14, 2004 19:38:29 GMT -5
((An Elf contemplates how his friends were lost to the Dark Lord.))
Absolution
Is forgiveness needed for someone like me? Someone who cares? Is it a bad thing?
Or perhaps there is no way of knowing?
My friends...the only one I've ever...
They are no longer free. They are changed, deformed, mutilated, and cruel.
Why?
They were Elves. What did they do? Why were they chosen? I need them...I need them too much, but they do not need me. They hate me now, I am sure of it. Oh! Is there nothing I can do to bring them back? Can I not change the past?
But that is not the worst of my problems. I still care. I care.
My friends serve the Lord of Mordor, but I do not cease to care for them. I love them because I knew them my entire life! I rarely think about it without carrying a great burden inside me. I blame myself for not rescuing them. Why? Because I could have chosen to follow them to their destination. But how could I have known they were to be taken after?
I feel anger at times! Anger at Him for taking my friends!! I feel that I need to rescue them! But it is not even simple. They would never recognize me...never. My friends...my friends!
There were two of them; they were the only friends I have ever had. They were true.
Sometimes I smile, because I remember their courage and nobility and their strength...their kindness. Everything about them was so...right. Everything. Their memories make me smile. It is a comfort I can rarely find.
I remember the times we had, the times when they would comfort me in my sorrow. I remember most of all the things they did for me. They were a large part of my life.
And they got taken away.
Why couldn't I have kept them?
I cry when I think of what they must have gone through. They have suffered. I wish that I were the only one who was taken, then at least they would be safe, they would have each other. I have no one...but what about them?
Maybe our bond together is so strong, that they might have been strong enough to make it through. Maybe their spirits are not shattered. But perhaps I am mistaken. I do not want to think about it anymore, it pains me.
Can they be given absolution? You get only one chance in life. Is theirs destroyed? Taken from them?
Eru protect them. Please stay with them...please, please. Let them be strong! Let them make it through this! They can, I know because they are strong enough, they will make it through this. And if they cannot, I know this much:
A bit of Elvish will be left in them. There will be in every one of them. This I am sure of because what happened to them was not supposed to occur. It was a mistake indeed. Elves should have always been and stayed Elves!
I feel a change in myself...in my heart. I feel weary somehow. It gets stronger everyday. Wonderful thoughts occupy my mind less and less now. There is a change in me.
Ah, I know now what it is...I must be dying...yes, I can feel it now. Once when the world was younger and greener, when I was around I thought, always thought that I would grow weary of Middle-earth and sail to Valinor. It never occurred to me once that I might die of a broken heart.
I ask for one thing and one thing only. I want absolution. Not for myself, but for my friends...my only friends who were taken.
I wonder if there will be absolution for loving them still, when I die. Absolution for still caring about my demented friends.
Absolution is what I think of before I give myself up...
Absolution...
Absolution
Is forgiveness needed for someone like me? Someone who cares? Is it a bad thing?
Or perhaps there is no way of knowing?
My friends...the only one I've ever...
They are no longer free. They are changed, deformed, mutilated, and cruel.
Why?
They were Elves. What did they do? Why were they chosen? I need them...I need them too much, but they do not need me. They hate me now, I am sure of it. Oh! Is there nothing I can do to bring them back? Can I not change the past?
But that is not the worst of my problems. I still care. I care.
My friends serve the Lord of Mordor, but I do not cease to care for them. I love them because I knew them my entire life! I rarely think about it without carrying a great burden inside me. I blame myself for not rescuing them. Why? Because I could have chosen to follow them to their destination. But how could I have known they were to be taken after?
I feel anger at times! Anger at Him for taking my friends!! I feel that I need to rescue them! But it is not even simple. They would never recognize me...never. My friends...my friends!
There were two of them; they were the only friends I have ever had. They were true.
Sometimes I smile, because I remember their courage and nobility and their strength...their kindness. Everything about them was so...right. Everything. Their memories make me smile. It is a comfort I can rarely find.
I remember the times we had, the times when they would comfort me in my sorrow. I remember most of all the things they did for me. They were a large part of my life.
And they got taken away.
Why couldn't I have kept them?
I cry when I think of what they must have gone through. They have suffered. I wish that I were the only one who was taken, then at least they would be safe, they would have each other. I have no one...but what about them?
Maybe our bond together is so strong, that they might have been strong enough to make it through. Maybe their spirits are not shattered. But perhaps I am mistaken. I do not want to think about it anymore, it pains me.
Can they be given absolution? You get only one chance in life. Is theirs destroyed? Taken from them?
Eru protect them. Please stay with them...please, please. Let them be strong! Let them make it through this! They can, I know because they are strong enough, they will make it through this. And if they cannot, I know this much:
A bit of Elvish will be left in them. There will be in every one of them. This I am sure of because what happened to them was not supposed to occur. It was a mistake indeed. Elves should have always been and stayed Elves!
I feel a change in myself...in my heart. I feel weary somehow. It gets stronger everyday. Wonderful thoughts occupy my mind less and less now. There is a change in me.
Ah, I know now what it is...I must be dying...yes, I can feel it now. Once when the world was younger and greener, when I was around I thought, always thought that I would grow weary of Middle-earth and sail to Valinor. It never occurred to me once that I might die of a broken heart.
I ask for one thing and one thing only. I want absolution. Not for myself, but for my friends...my only friends who were taken.
I wonder if there will be absolution for loving them still, when I die. Absolution for still caring about my demented friends.
Absolution is what I think of before I give myself up...
Absolution...
