Post by Haerodiel on Sept 11, 2004 12:12:46 GMT -5
I'm wriing a story, and it will be very long, so I will pos it in sections. Please tell me what u think. I am exepting negative comments too, 2 help me out. Oh, by the way, it does ge more exciting, trust me.
And there she was, just sitting on the bus wondering what the ancient pyramids would be like. It seemed like they would never get there. She decided to read ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’ to pass time.
‘The hobbits gazed at Strider. It seemed that he was learned in old lore, as well as in the ways of the wild. “Who was Gil-galad?” asked Merry; but Strider did not answer, and seemed to be lost in thought. Suddenly a low voice murmured:
Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.
His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven’s field
were mirrored in his silver shield.
But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where he shadows are.
The others turned in amazement, for the voice was Sam’s.’
“I wish I lived in Middle-Earth,” she murmured. “I would go on all sorts of great adventures.” Suddenly, the bus came to a stop. She closed her book and looked up at Mr. Pez.
“Okay class,” he started, “We are going to walk in a single file line out or the bus and into the pyramid. And that includes you Crystal!”
“Yes sir,” replied Crystal. She got up from her seat in the back of the bus to her spot in the back of the line. She had no friends because Lord of the Rings was so ‘out of fashion’. “They just don’t understand the beauty of it,” she said to herself. “They don’t look deep enough.” Before she knew it, they were in front of the pyramid with their tour guide.
“Okay, remember,” said the guide. “Don’t touch ANYTHING!” Then the guide started talking about what to do if you get lost and safety instructions, but Crystal was not listening. Her mind had drifted to Lothlorien and the elves…
It was a beautiful day in Lothlorien. She walked over to
the pool of water to wash her face. She must hurry, for she was
almost late for choir. Just then, her sharp Elven ears heard some-
thing behind her that was not an Elf. She quickly turns around
and sees…
Mr. Pez’s loud voice interrupted her thoughts.
“Okay class! Walk in a single fill line into the pyramid!”
“Single file line, single file line. Always a single file line,” muttered a boy from somewhere in the line.
She heard Mr. Pez yell out to take notes, so she took out her notebook and started drawing Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ house.
She was starting to draw her fence, and the guide was saying something about mummy organs, when something caught her eye. It was a lone, old fashion oil lamp sitting in a corner, seemingly unnoticed. She raised her hand to tell the tour guide.
“Please, no questions until the end,” so she put her hand back down. Oh well. It would probably be noticed later. All of a sudden, she felt she should take it. ‘No, he said not to touch anything’. Crystal was just about to move on with the rest of the group, but she really felt she should take it, but she couldn’t tell why. She felt a pain in her stomach telling her to take it. She finally gave in and took it. She stuck it in her backpack and continued drawing number four Bagshot row.
It wasn’t until she was back in the bus that she began to feel very guilty about taking the lamp. She took it out and looked at it. It looked like it had something written on it, but she would have to look at it at home. She didn’t want anyone seeing her with it.
Ok, that's my first chaper! Please tell me how u liked it.
And there she was, just sitting on the bus wondering what the ancient pyramids would be like. It seemed like they would never get there. She decided to read ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’ to pass time.
‘The hobbits gazed at Strider. It seemed that he was learned in old lore, as well as in the ways of the wild. “Who was Gil-galad?” asked Merry; but Strider did not answer, and seemed to be lost in thought. Suddenly a low voice murmured:
Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.
His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven’s field
were mirrored in his silver shield.
But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where he shadows are.
The others turned in amazement, for the voice was Sam’s.’
“I wish I lived in Middle-Earth,” she murmured. “I would go on all sorts of great adventures.” Suddenly, the bus came to a stop. She closed her book and looked up at Mr. Pez.
“Okay class,” he started, “We are going to walk in a single file line out or the bus and into the pyramid. And that includes you Crystal!”
“Yes sir,” replied Crystal. She got up from her seat in the back of the bus to her spot in the back of the line. She had no friends because Lord of the Rings was so ‘out of fashion’. “They just don’t understand the beauty of it,” she said to herself. “They don’t look deep enough.” Before she knew it, they were in front of the pyramid with their tour guide.
“Okay, remember,” said the guide. “Don’t touch ANYTHING!” Then the guide started talking about what to do if you get lost and safety instructions, but Crystal was not listening. Her mind had drifted to Lothlorien and the elves…
It was a beautiful day in Lothlorien. She walked over to
the pool of water to wash her face. She must hurry, for she was
almost late for choir. Just then, her sharp Elven ears heard some-
thing behind her that was not an Elf. She quickly turns around
and sees…
Mr. Pez’s loud voice interrupted her thoughts.
“Okay class! Walk in a single fill line into the pyramid!”
“Single file line, single file line. Always a single file line,” muttered a boy from somewhere in the line.
She heard Mr. Pez yell out to take notes, so she took out her notebook and started drawing Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ house.
She was starting to draw her fence, and the guide was saying something about mummy organs, when something caught her eye. It was a lone, old fashion oil lamp sitting in a corner, seemingly unnoticed. She raised her hand to tell the tour guide.
“Please, no questions until the end,” so she put her hand back down. Oh well. It would probably be noticed later. All of a sudden, she felt she should take it. ‘No, he said not to touch anything’. Crystal was just about to move on with the rest of the group, but she really felt she should take it, but she couldn’t tell why. She felt a pain in her stomach telling her to take it. She finally gave in and took it. She stuck it in her backpack and continued drawing number four Bagshot row.
It wasn’t until she was back in the bus that she began to feel very guilty about taking the lamp. She took it out and looked at it. It looked like it had something written on it, but she would have to look at it at home. She didn’t want anyone seeing her with it.
Ok, that's my first chaper! Please tell me how u liked it.